Sunday, February 13, 2005

Thoughtoids

For those of you who remember, I named one of my building's elevators in a previous post (See the December Archives). Apparently a friend and reader was inspired to name the other. Forevermore the elevators here shall be known as "Clarence" and "Terrance" - and if I'm spelling Terrance wrong, someone please correct me.

Now that Dayton has decided not to run for Senate in '06, who will the Democrats choose? If I were 30, I'd volunteer. Whoever they pick, they'll have an uphill battle against Mark Kennedy. Having been strictly avoided by Kennedy at a party last year, I don't think I can support him, even if he is a fellow Johnnie. Seriously though, if I were able to run, what kind of support could I garner? In the DFL? Assume for a minute I were able to win the nomination... could I win the state? Anyone have thoughts on this topic? Its kind of fun to think about, and after all, I am thinking about getting involved in politics someday.

Hypothetically, if you discovered that your ex-girlfriend, who dumped you because she had been cheating on you, ended up with the type of guy who calls himself "Playboy C. Sanders" and loses the under-card match during an evening of "Xtreme Kage Kombat", what would you do? Would you smile? Would you gloat? Would you run to your blog to point out to everyone that she has chosen to affiliate with an under-educated thug who gets paid by illiterates to take a beating? I know I shouldn't take pleasure in the misfortune of others, but something about the name "Playboy C. Sanders" screams "misogynist chicken-cook," and its just too hard to resist. I mean, the man thinks he's had a good night of work when he leaves with only one black eye. Ultimately though, I do have to wish them all the best of luck; maybe someday soon he'll be getting beat-up by the champ!

And finally, in other news, I recently wrote and deleted a post describing the adventure I had the evening after my sister's wedding. I just couldn't manage to make it sound as funny as it actually was, and it wouldn't be right to give this story any less than it's due. Suffice it to say what was originally going to be a quiet evening ended up involving moving my sister, making supper at 9:00 p.m., dirty diapers, children with the flu, on-command flatulence, a baby strapped into a car-seat dangling inches above the ground, diarrhea in the living room, diarrhea in the dining room, diarrhea in the bathroom, and a pair of false teeth falling out of an old woman's mouth. If you'd like more details, feel free to ask.

8 comments:

Kendrick Novak said...

Well I for one want to hear about this story that you didn't write about. Who cares if it doesn't sound as funny, write about it anyways.

Matthew B. Novak said...

Anyone reading this who decides to become an ultimate fighter, you have to promise me that your "Kage-name" will be "Penthouse R. McDonald".

dyk said...

Ok, what we need here are some transitions or extra spacing or something. I got to "Mark Kennedy" and was still trying to figure out how it related to Terrence, and then made it to "Sanders" wondering what that had to do with your political future. I guess I shall consider myself forwarned then next time I see 'Thoughtoids.'

Furthermore, I hate to be the guy who points out that it's a bad idea to make fun of ultimate fighters, even, or perhaps especially, the bad ones.

emnovak said...

hey, i will have everybody know that the false teeth part happened to ME at church, as well as jephtha threatening to pass gas if i didn't let him go to the crying room.

Emily said...

I want to hear the rest of this story.

Matthew B. Novak said...

I might get around to writing a post about the story. Fact of the matter is though, now you've all got the funny parts, and the rest is just filling in the blanks. Rumor has it Laura is going to be getting a blog, and she's a better story-teller than I am. Maybe you should all lobby for her to tell it.

CAL said...

Laura. Laura. Laura.

Matthew B. Novak said...

By "Laura. Laura. Laura." do you mean something to the effect of "Tora! Tora! Tora!" or "Lau-ra! Laur-ra! Lau-ra!" ? Or am I completely off-base? I guess its just hard to tell given the lack of inflection and volume which can be communicated on-line.