Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Learning Lots of Law

How is it that Murphy's Law always proves true?
The one time you stop paying attention in class, bam! you get called on.
The one case you don't read is the one case you'll be questioned about.
The one time you open your mouth with a sensible answer your voice cracks like an adolescent boy.
The one time your insomnia subsides is when you're sitting in the front row.
The one time the professor's microphone works is the one time it scares you awake and you instinctively reach for your alarm accidentally knocking the kid sitting next to you in the arm, which then accidentally pushes his laptop off the desk, onto the floor.
The one time you're responsible for someone else dropping their laptop is the one time the top half seperates from the bottom half.
The one time a laptop is completely ruined is the one time your classmate is litigious.
The one time you're facing a lawsuit the judge's gavel suddenly splinters, a large chunk lodging itself in your chest-cavity.
The one time you have surgery to remove a gavel, and need a blood transfusion during the operation, they get the blood from a rhesus monkey.
The one time you get rhesus monkey blood it happens to have both the ebola virus, and HIV.
The one time you get ebola and HIV is the one time you die.
The one time you die is the one - Eep! Apparently the one time you write a silly blog post in class is also the one time you get called on. Oops.


emnovak said...

you are sad.

joel said...

And yet, I'm not even remotely surprised.

Emily said...

I think it's funny.

Matthew B. Novak said...

This was mostly fiction. Except that I was on call today. And the part about the gavel, that was all true.

Emmie Rose, you are now my favorite person - you never say anything negative about my posts. From now on, all of my fiction is going to be written with you as my audience.

emnovak said...

great emily, look what you did. you will probably end up regretting it. the rest of us already do.

Matthew B. Novak said...

Emily, you were never my favorite, so how can you say you regret it? You don't know what "it" is like!

emnovak said...

that's not exactly what i meant. and thanks a lot.

Matthew B. Novak said...

You're welcome.

Emily said...

Sorry Em, didn't mean to cause any conflicts!

But at least now I can say I'm someone's favorite person. Some of us don't have the luxury of being loved by everyone and always in the limelight. ;-)

No but really, I do like your posts, Matt. Maybe because I wish I could write like that, I dunno. Though some say they really enjoy reading my journal, but it's not really the same type of stuff. Oh well.

Anonymous said...

did u no this is like the only one of ur blogs that ive enjoyed?
u, like i said in my other comment, should use less big words for those less intelligent people tha t read ur blogs! or mayb throw in a more interesting blog now and then give me questions that i understand so i have something think about but really this blog was funny and when did the thing with the gavel happen?!?!