Tuesday, June 07, 2005

About the Wedding, Part 1

Ok, I wanted to throw out a few notes about the wedding, and what all happened. Under advisement from Chris Dykhoff, I will keep clandestine details from the honeymoon to myself. Some, however, may be revealed. And, for the sake of ease, I'm just going to lay stuff out in list form. Here you go:

  • Things were getting pretty hectic on Friday, when we were setting up the reception hall and I needed to find my groomsmen and get us tuxes.
  • Things got significantly more hectic when I went to the hotel and happened upon my family.
  • And some of my extended family.
  • And the people they brought with them.
  • And I think some of the hotel staff might have gotten mixed in there as well. Details are hazy.
  • Once I was able to seperate 2 of my groomsmen (and one hotel maid, later thrown back) from the fracas, I decided it was time to get Laura the lunch I'd promised her 45 minutes earlier.
  • Got the food, went to the farm, in hopes that the other groomsmen had gone there.
  • Some of them were there, being entertained by Laura's family. Both groups later provided choice quotes about the other.
  • The final groomsman - Nick - arrived, and we headed off to get our tuxes.
  • Something like 6 hours later (more like 1 and a half), we had our tuxes and were driving through road construction back to the hotel, to drop off our tuxes and prepare for the rehersal.
  • Kendrick wanted to touch one of the cones along the roadside. Nick was driving, and obliged Kendrick by running smack into one of the cones.
  • Nick then put E-85 in his vehicle which cannot run on E-85. There is an extended story here, involving a siphon, and the fact that his vehicle had a siphon gaurd, and that Ford considers using E-85 as an acceptible method of discharge, and the check engine light will come on, but it was already on, which in this case indicated that everything was ok. I don't really know, I wasn't there. But it sounded funny when other people told it.
  • Rehersal - guys show up a little late, but it all goes smoothly, and we're off to the farm for burgers and 'dogs.
  • We have a great night of food and family and friends and gag gifts. Which was a brilliant idea ala Laura.
  • I return to the hotel to set up a recreation of a college lip-sync to the Elephant Love Medley Song from Moulin Rouge. We went to Wal-Mart for props. It was slightly chaotic, everyone running all over the store and brideswomen helping groomsmen find unsightly nighties for the perfomance.
  • Joel put on the unsightly nighty. It was disgusting. We ended up getting him a dress instead.
  • If anyone wants an unsightly nighty - worn once - you can leave a message on the blog. Joel, thanks a ton for the gift. So freakin' generous.
  • After writing signs for the lip sync the room smelt like permanent marker, and we all passed out.


  • Wake up, shower, shave, dress, etc.
  • Get to church in time for pictures - actually make it on time.
  • Groomsmen show up shortly there-after, it's all good so far.
  • Except there aren't any brideswomen. Apparently hair didn't go well. Worse still, grandparents are stuck at the hair place until well after the brideswomen finish. We still feel bad about this. Sorry Grandma(s).
  • Pictures happen. I fight with a bush in one photo, get caught vamping on camera, and wear those silly disguise glasses.
  • Laura looks beautiful, and wears those silly disguse glasses.
  • Brideswomen and Groomsmen - disguise glasses all around.
  • Pictures end, wedding starts. Everything looks wonderful. I would know because I stood at the back of the church for something like 20 minutes while Pat and Rebecca - the first set of attendents - walked down the aisle. Seriously, it took them as long to get down as it took the rest of the wedding party.
  • Get up to the front, Laura walks down, everyone stands up, and I can't see over them.
  • Standing on altar, looking out at all the people I know who could make it. And a bunch of free-loaders (coughSpencecough).
  • At one point Laura and I considered handing 3-D glasses to everyone who came, so that when we looked out at the crowd it would look like they were all at one of those movies from the 50's, or 60's, or whenever that was. That would certainly have looked cool from our perspective.
  • Wedding happens. It was great - I enjoyed the ceremony, the homily, the part where Laura didn't run away screaming she couldn't do it. All in all, a great time.
  • After the receiving line we hopped in the limo and drove to the Redwood Zoo. The zoo has chickens. No fooling, honest-to-God, chickens. Worst zoo ever. But fun for that reason. There was also a deer or two. And I think geese. It was like they just fenced in whatever happened to be standing around.
  • We got to the reception, Chris Dykhoff announced us, and we walked in.
  • I was told later that they were playing Star Wars music when we marched in. I really hope it was the Imperial Theme (you know, the Darth Vader stuff), and not that crummy main theme.
  • I think Revenge of the Sith makes Return of the Jedi a much better movie, and that this fact hasn't gotten enough play in the review of the newest release. Everyone is all like "I love Revenge and Empire", but what they're forgetting is that now when they watch Return it'll be a much better film too, and could probably be grouped right behind those other two. If not for those danged Ewoks. Crummy little things probably had lice.
  • Meal was good. I liked the Jell-O cake. A far superior alternative to wedding cake.
  • After the meal, we showed a movie. I had made it for Laura. She didn't know about it. So it was a big surprise, and went off really well, and people really seemed to enjoy it. At least Laura did, which was all that mattered.
  • Then we danced, and it was fun.
  • I have all sorts of other stuff to write, but frankly, I'm just tuckered out. Maybe I'll pick this up again sometime soon, and give more details. Eventually.
  • So, just one more little thing: $40 of our damage deposit was not returned to us because the floor of the reception hall was ruined with... you guessed it... Play-doh! We have pictures - we know who's responsible.
  • Ok, it's me. I bought the play-doh the day before and gave it to my little brother. When I did, my dad told me I should have known better. I guess he was right.

So anyways, that's all for now. So much more happened, and if others want to add their contributions, they should. We'd love to hear stories about everyone else's exeperiences.

Ok, I'm out of here!

I'm strange, and you're strange


Anonymous said...

You developed all the film from the cameras you so kindly left at the table? When you do, there's stories there. I think you know about the soup, but there's more. I hope they come out well.

Kajsa said...

Great wedding!!

I think it was actually the 20th Century Fox music they played while you walked in.

Oh, and my sister is bringing your wedding present to Theresa's graduation party.

Justin Gannon said...

Sounds like everything went well. Wish I could have made it.

You see I was going to show up for the wedding and then jet on out for my sister's graduation right afterwards, but me and my girlfriend actually slept in about a half hour too late. There was no way we would have made it in time, considering it was at mimimum a 6 hour trip.

So, here's to you. A belated congratulations and best wishes from me and Amber.

Anonymous said...

Yay! I got a shout out in Matt's blog!!


dyk said...

You're So True, Joseph Arthur

On that note, what a great idea, as well as a great compilation. We have a CD in each car right now. It's been nothing but warm and fuzzy car rides since we returned.

joel said...

A couple of things (in convenient list form):


• You just couldn't keep the part about the slip to yourself?

• I thought it was a great gift. Hrmph.

• I lost my compilation CD. My special compilation CD. Will you send me one of each, a normal one and my special one?

• Anything Theresa told you about that night is a lie. Ask Brendan for details. He'll tell you the truth.

• Great wedding Matt. Thank you very much for having me be a part of it.