Sunday, October 23, 2005

Rageohol

SO ANRGY!

Game two is done. I hate the White Sox. HATE. I finished watching a movie tonight (the original Star Wars), just in time to see the Astros tie the game in the 9th. And to have my faith blown apart by the Imperial Storm Trooper that is Scott Posednik, blasting a laser shot out of the park for a game winning home run (forgive the mixed metaphors).

But the anger doesn't start with tonight. It goes back, a long time ago, in a ballpark far, far away.

Last year I witnessed the injustice of all injustice, the Red Sox winning the World Series. There are few more evil than the Red Sox, and their success was the downfall of noble tradition, in which good always triumphed. The villains won, and all innocence was destroyed. It was pain beyond description, a wound which can never heal.

And yet my afflictions grow worse. It seems that evil will not rest until the last remnants of good have been wiped from the face of this Earth. For the most vile of teams, the White Sox, their foul stench polluting the pure air of this fair land, appear solidly on path for their own title. The White Sox, worse by ten-fold than the Red Sox, are solidly in command of this year's World Series. I am so mad I could puke.

I lament in anguish, "Oh what hath I done that the Lord should favor mine enemies?"

They are but a plague, a scourge to all that is good. They stand against the noble, they war against the Twins. They are my most bitter rival, and their success is my destruction, and the destruction of all beauty.

I hate the White Sox. They make me angry.

Or I could still be reeling from the death of Obi-Wan.

Like a giant carbonated soda, S-O-D-A, soda

27 comments:

Eric Michael Peterson said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Matthew B. Novak said...

Ah, you sad, pathetic, misguided idiot. For starters, the Yankees are not evil - it was only the Red Sox who deemed them as such. And what would evil call evil? Why of course, it would call that which is not evil evil. Thus we can see that the Yankees are not evil. But further, while their gross excesses in salary are an offense to dignity, they are team steeped in noble history, beautiful teamwork and camraderie, and generally representative of an enlightened spirit.

But this post ultimately is not about whether or not the Yankees fall on the "good" or the "evil" side of the line, for surely they are in some aspects both. No this post was about the fact that when evil truly seized the day - with the Red Sox victory - that at that point there is no longer a gaurantee that good will triumph.

The norm before was that good would always triumph in the end. No matter how many times the bad guy won, eventually they would get their just deserts, and good would prevail. But since the Red Sox won the title we have entered a world where that future is no longer secured. We can no longer be certain that the good guys will ever win again. We must live in fear that the only thing we will ever know is evil. Future success for the good is now only a hope, and no longer a certainty. And that is the sad reality we have entered.

So my poor misguided Eric, though I understand your motivations to be contrarian, I would suggest that in the future you fully asses the topic before you open your trap and belt out some idiotic drivel such as to which I am responding thusly. Bonehead.

emnovak said...

ah matt, two things. one, you are sadly overreacting. two, don't call my boyfriend a bonehead or I'll beat you up. That's right, I'll beat you up.

Matthew B. Novak said...

Emily, four things. First, I'm not overreacting - you're underreacting. And second, I'd like to see you try to beat me up. Third, why are you not okay with me calling him a bonehead, but "sad, pathetic, misguided idiot" is ok? And fourth, if Eric weren't trying to get my goat and being stupid at the same time, I wouldn't call him a bonehead. I like Eric, but sometimes... he's just a bonehead. And that's all I can say about it.

Emily said...

Evil seized the day; therefore good was around first. So good will indeed regain the victory and triumph in the end.

the marvelous patric said...

dude, the yankees are pure evil. i cheered for the red sox over the yankees. i hate the yankees with a passion that burns hotter and brighter than a million suns.
and, guess what... i want the white sox to win too. mainly because they were hot all season, so i feel like this is appropriate. oh, and i hate texas.

but hey, eric is a bonehead, so we agree on that. :-)

the marvelous patric said...

oh, and another thought... maybe you've become vader-esque. now, from your point of view, the things you once believed to be good are evil. you don't believe the yankees are evil. vader didn't believe palpatine and the empire were evil. don't make me obi-wan you. honestly, who would have thought a quadruple amputee burn victim would not only survive, but go on to become one of the most evil and powerful villains of all time?

Matthew B. Novak said...

So what you're saying is, I don't have any limbs?

the marvelous patric said...

hmmm... i'm not sure... i think you might just be at the killing younglings stage of your transformation. i will come to mustefar to try to stop you, and then we will duel.

Eric Michael Peterson said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Matthew B. Novak said...

Eric, I can defame your character no more than your existence already does.

Second, the Red Sox are just as guilty of buying talent as the Yankees are. They both have the same vice. But the Red Sox have others, such as bad sportsmanship and the most annoying fans in the world.

Third, the Astros played great all year too. Plus they've got Roger Clemens, the greatest pitcher of our early years, and possibly ever. Also, the white sox have a bunch of historic jerks, such as Frank Thomas and Carl Everett, whereas the Astros have known "good guys" like Jeff Bagwell and Andy Pettit. I suggest in the future you keep your mouth shut where you don't know what you're talking about. Dimwad.

the marvelous patric said...

hmmm... yankee fans i think are just as annoying as red sox fans. actually, i think they're more annoying (to me) because of their arrogance. like they are supperiour to me because they are yankees fans. well you know what? matsui has a big ass. i don't mean fat, i just mean out of proportion. there, i said it.

Matthew B. Novak said...

You apparently haven't met many Red Sox fans. Especially in numbers greater than 1, they are more annoying and egotistical than any other fan. Yes, Yankees fans are cocky. But Red Sox fans are cocky, whiny, elitist, and self-righteous. Move to the East Coast. Meet some real Red Sox fans. You'll understand.

Emily said...

Ok, actual conversation that took place tonight--

My friend Cara: "Yeah, so I'm totally out of it and I didn't know the world series was going on."
Me: "THE WORLD SERIES IS GOING ON???"
Cara: "Yeah, they're on like game 3."
Me: "Oh. Who's playing?"
Cara: "I don't even know."
Elise, Cara's roommate: "The Yankees and the Astros I think."
Me: "Ohh..."

Now this post makes sense.

Eric Michael Peterson said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Matthew B. Novak said...

If your point was "you use slander" then you might as well have pointed out that my name was Matt. No one was contesting that I was slandering you. The fact of the matter is, I was. The other fact of the matter is that you deserve to be slandered.

Eric Michael Peterson said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Matthew B. Novak said...

It was removed because of a total lack of relevance and extreme length (it was an extended IM conversation). Just because your friend thinks it's all a matter of rivalry does not make it so. There are lots of reasons why we should all hate the White Sox. Your friend failed to articulate those reasons, and so you used his weak presentation in a way that would help your case. I will have no strawmen on my blog. That's just bad form. Shame on you for trying it.

the marvelous patric said...

you know, the east coast, despite being still a bastion of liberalism, really bugs me. i just don't understand people's fascination with the east coast, especially NYC. when i meet new yorkers, and i've met quite a few as the big 2 comic companies have their offices in NYC, they always give me the impression that they are lucky to live in NYC, and obviously, i really wish i could too. like they feel everyone wishes they lived on the east coast in NYC. that's my impression. so maybe i just transfer that to yankee fans.
and when i came to hate the yankees, i didn't even really realize their rivalry with the red sox. i hates them as a twins fan. i always feel like they look down on us little midwesterners, because we're not smart enough to know real people live in giant cities.

the marvelous patric said...

oh, and i love how you delete posts that you deem irrelevant. that seems right. of course, at what point do you decide people's thoughts are irrelelvant? when they disagree with you too much? when you believe their education is inferior to yours? oh.. it was just an im conversation. yeah, those never yield anything. (sarcasm) i'm just saying you might have been right to delete a post, but i don't think it makes you look to good.

Matthew B. Novak said...

If you had seen the post, you'd understand. It was incredibly lenthy and all it did was set up a strawman. I don't think that type of argument is appropriate, thus I spared Eric the embarassment and simply deleted it.

Also, you should definitely transfer all your impressions of East Coast snobbery to Red Sox fans as well. If anything, Boston is worse than New York. Because at least in NY they're forced to deal with a diverse population and thus develop a respect for others. In my experience I wouldn't give Bostonians the same credit.

Eric Michael Peterson said...

if my case is that of a "strawmans" then i remove my argument... it is just not worth it.

Matthew B. Novak said...

I didn't say your entire argument was a strawman Eric. Just that particular post. And while I apologize for all the name-calling (really, it was just meant in good fun), you need to stop being such a baby.

Also, anyone rooting for the White Sox is no fan of the Twins.

Eric Michael Peterson said...

i will agree with you that removing my argument completely was a copout, but i am far too sick, and far too stressed out recently to involve what little energy i have in an argument in which my point is dismissed because i am a "bonehead" and a "dimwad". i hold firm that the yankees can, and should, be considered evil in the same regard that you are considering the red sox and the white sox evil. i also hold to my argument that the white sox should win the series because there playing has justified it. that is not to say they are the best examples of human beings possible, it does not mean that their behavior is justified or warranted in all situations, and it has nothing to do with whether or not they are evil. they played well, to address your assessment of the astros play... they played well too, if they did not then they would not be in the series in the first place; however, at this point in time the white sox are playing better, and if they win another game and the series so be it... they were the best team... next year good will have a chance again. if i must use a copout to avoid further involvement so be it… that is my choice

emnovak said...

i was trying to figure out why all of eric's comments were removed. then i read the last few comments and it all make sense.

the marvelous patric said...

wow... all of this for just baseball.

dyk said...

Wow. Sleep outside for three days and look what I miss. White Sox win a World Series, Matt turns into Emporer Palpatine, sheesh.