In the different regions of our great nation the beverage genre known as "soda pop" goes by different monikers. There's the coasts, which generally call it "soda" and there's the Midwest, which generally calls it "pop". And then there's those folks in the south who just call it all "coke." Freaks.
Anyways, I was doing some thinking about the fact that this beverage has these different names, and asking myself "Why? Why, Lord, why must it have these different names?" And then I thought about which name was best.
For starters, "coke" is right out. That's just dumb. "Soda" and "pop" both make some sense, being derived from the name "soda pop" and all.
But which of those two makes most sense?
Well, first off, there's the fact that these names are both abbreviations of the larger actual God-given name of "soda pop". Clearly then the superior abbreviation is the superior name. What makes for a good abbreviation? Ease and brevity, both written and spoken. "Soda" is 4 letters, and contains 2 syllables. "Pop" is 3 letters, and just 1 syllable.
Obviously, "pop" is the superior abbreviation, and therefore the superior short-form of "soda pop".
But even more essentially, there's something very, very wrong about using the word "soda" as a noun when it is clearly and adjective. "Soda pop" is, like "soda crackers" or "soda water", a thing which is made with form of carbonation. The thing itself is the pop (or the crackers or the water) and "soda" is just a modifier, describing the thing itself.
So it makes no freaking sense to use the word "soda" as the short form of "soda pop" because "soda" can modify lots of different things, where as "pop" is the actual thing itself. We don't call a "birthday cake" a "birthday" for short; we call it a "cake" because "birthday" can modify all sorts of nouns, like "party" or "card".
So, obviously, "pop" is the best - and ultimately the only sensible - short form of the phrase "soda pop."
Now I'd appreciate it if all you jerks calling it "soda" would just knock it the heck off.
Huckleberry, cherry or lime