Monday, November 19, 2007

These Are The Things I Think About

On the Metro this evening I saw a woman with what must have been a hearing aid in her ear. It wasn't obviously a hearing aid, and in fact it looked more like some sort of spy movie communication gadget. Or perhaps a sci-fi type mind-control device.

This being D.C., where there are more spies than anywhere else in the world (and probably more mad scientists too) one becomes increasingly aware of these possibilities. And by 'one' I mean 'me. Stop judging.'.

Heightening my suspicion of her spy/sci-fi nature was the fact that she seemed to be feigning sleep but actually listening attentively. She kept nodding and, despite the fact that her eyes were closed, blinking in what appeared to be a very deliberate manner. Almost as if it were a form of non-verbal communication with another nearby agent. Or perhaps as if she weren't controlling her own body and was instead under the direct manipulation of some mad genius. Whatever. It all looks the same.

My suspicions aroused, I decided to try to subtly get a closer look at the device. It did appear to have a little wire sticking out, almost some sort of transmitter. In an attempt to better assess the situation I thought I would look to see if she had a similar device in her other ear. I figured that if she did it would make it less likely that she was using the device in some sort of covert espionage capacity, and more likely that it was just a hearing aid. I couldn't get a clear shot at her other ear, but as I was stepping off the train I was able to sneak a quick glance. Sure enough, there was an identical device in her other ear.

Which was kind of a let-down. I was really hoping that she was a spy.

Of course, the fact that there were two devices also probably increases the likelihood of mind-control. So, hey! Today on the Metro I saw a lady who was being controlled by an evil scientist. Which is kind of cool.

Points for the song quote

More coffee for me boss
'Cause I'm not as messed up as I want to be


Jeff said...

This, along with your Bluetooth/crazy person post from earlier, is becoming something of a theme on this blog...

Matthew B. Novak said...

What can I say? I'm carving out my niche. There just aren't enough blogs that address communication devices that attach to the ear and the bizarre thoughts they can lead to.

Maria Rose said...

this is true matt. what's with the ear piece deal?

some people's kids