Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Quick Ficks

From now on, my "Phickle Thoughts" entries will go by this new title, "Quick Ficks". Unless people don't like it, in which case I'll change back. Thoughts?
God bless playoff hockey. It's so fast and fun and exciting. Way better than basketball.
Craig Ferguson recently topped Conan O'Brien in ratings for the first time ever. Though I enjoy Conan (and prefer him to Dave or Jay or Jimmy (with the exception of the Damon rivalry thing)), Craig is simply funnier. One of the perks of being a borderline insomniac is that I regularly get to watch Craig.
Actually, speaking of insomnia, I've had a few rough nights over the last couple weeks. I think it's been largely stress related, since I've been crazy busy at work. Three of the last four weeks I've had arguments scheduled for Monday mornings. I keep getting more and more experience, but I don't seem to get less nervous for the hearings. Fortunately I've gotten some terrific results for clients; I guess stressing about the cases pays off. Still, I'd like to find some better way to avoid the effects that come with stress.
Flight of the Conchords is hilarious.
We had an interesting dining experience tonight. One of the first times I've ever intentionally left a low tip. Our waitress seemed completely inept. I ordered the fish'n'chip sandwich, which, unlike the fish'n'chip entree, did not come with tartar sauce. I requested a side of tartar sauce. The waitress told me that she didn't think they had tartar sauce at the restaurant. I casually said that it came with the entree, so hopefully they would have some.

That was when it got weird. She stopped writing down our orders. She looked at me very intensely. She didn't say anything for at least a full three seconds. She gave a scowl and said pointedly, "Well, I. Didn't. Know. That's why I said that."

I countered with that side-to-side eye thing where you check your peripheri to make sure there aren't any hidden cameras thing. You know, the one that means, "what the heck is going on here?"

"Okay...," I said.

She kept the same tone and repeated her line, though a little more quickly this time through.

I sat in silence. (What would you do?!?)(What would Jesus do?!?)

She stood there for another handful of seconds. Not a word was spoken. Somewhere in the distance, a churchbell failed to ring.

It was, apparently, a stalemate. I still hadn't figured out what the game was, but I'd somehow managed a stalemate.

Finally, Laura stepped in with the save. "And can I have a side salad?"

I love my wife.

Still, after that the waitress didn't return to our table until we were finished with our meal. That's right, she didn't even bring us our food. Our waitress. The person who's job description is, "bring people food", failed to complete that task. We don't know where she went. So about half an hour after we ordered, when one of the other waitstaff asked us if we were ok (we were watching the Twins game, so we probably seemed somewhat content) we mentioned that we still didn't have our food. Within a minute he brought us our plates, which had probably been sitting for quite a while. The food was not hot. This was disturbing.

At the end of the meal we went back and forth about how much to tip the waitress. Generally I aim for 20%, more for good service. Tonight I initially went with my gut and gave a normal amount. But as we sat there, waiting for the half-inning to end before we left, it occurred to me that I would feel worse tipping her well, than I would tipping her poorly. So we adjusted the tip downward. It was a pretty crummy tip, but hey!, she was a pretty crummy waitress. Maybe next time she'll bring her customers their food.

Another way that love is similar to Sellotape, that I've noticed
Is sometimes it's hard to see the end


patric said...

Quick Ficks sucks. change it back.

Mike said...

I wouldn't be quite as harsh as Patric, but I agree that "Phickle Thoughts" is better.

Hockey is indeed better than basketball, especially given that ESPN doesn't put it ahead of baseball on SportsCenter quite as frequently.

When you said, "It was a pretty crummy tip, but hey!, she was a pretty crummy waitress" it reminded me of when Bill Clinton awards Lisa the award she whined about not getting, and Marge goes "That's a pretty lousy lesson", and Clinton replies "Well, I'm a pretty lousy president". Not sure why, but thought I'd share that bit of randomness with you.

(In fairness, it frequently happens at restaurants that servers don't actually bring out the food. But still, they usually at least check up on you from time to time.)