Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Holey Shamoley!

It's not as funny as Ben's incident, but on Monday of this week I managed to walk around all day with a hole in my pants that exposed what can be generously referred to as my "upper, inner thigh".

As an attorney, I frequently wear suits to work. I purchased this particular suit from Jos. A. Bank. I've had it for about a year now, and the crotch has slowly been wearing thin. I probably haven't worn them any more than 40 times, so this probably shouldn't have happened. I think it must have been shoddy tailoring; none of my other suits have this problem.

Either way, "slowly wearing thin" quickly became "gaping holes in the crotch". Unfortunately I didn't realize this until after I got to work. I think a few crucial threads may have finally given - perhaps even on the way to work - and so the holes were sudden and large. Fortunately, since i don't routinely sit with my legs spread, the holes couldn't be seen unless you were really looking intently at my crotch.

I was paranoid about the holes the whole day. It was an intake day, which meant I was meeting with a bunch of new clients, in addition to the regular lawyerly duties. And that night we had dance class, so I made sure to waltz a little more carefully. After all, I didn't want to end up doing some sort of forbidden dance.

There's a hole in your knickers dear Calvin

4 comments:

Mike said...

I had a pair of jeans that had that problem in middle school. Trouble was, they were also by far my most comfortable pair. So I wore them anyway and hoped that no one would notice. Not really sure what the point is, except to maybe tell you you're not alone.

Ben said...

Well, judging by the purely objective and representative standards of my experience and reading the experiences of fellow bloggers, it appears there is an epidemic of holes in pants. The fabric of society is falling apart! Or, at least, society's fabrics are falling apart!

There's only one logical solution: we must advocate for a comprehensive Pants Reform law. And Jacob must oppose it as a Nanny State intrusion into people's clothing gap preferences. (Not to be confused with people who prefer to get their clothing from the Gap.)

Okay, then. Everybody know your places? Let's go!

Jacob said...

Ready when you are, Ben!

Also, check out the Cordarounds website for a scientific approach to reducing the plague of corduroy friction.
www.cordarounds.com

Ben said...

Jacob, where do you find these things?

As I write this in my office, a hole appears to be developing just above my right pocket. I just got this suit for Christmas!