Once upon a time I used to think of myself as an incredibly strong-willed person. I don't know that I actually was, but I certainly thought of myself that way. One thing has become abundently clear though: I'm no longer nearly as strong-willed as I once was.
College, law school, and life in general have made me soft. Both literally and figuratively. I've put on pounds, lost muscle, and, most troubling, have lost self-discipline. Over the past however-many-years I've been able to appease so many of my desires that I've essentially never had to do without anything I've wanted. I don't have very expensive tastes, so even on limited student budgets I've been able to satisfy just about anything I've wanted.
Not only have I been able to give in to most of the things I've wanted, I also haven't really worked to balance that out. I haven't worked out to offset the eating, I haven't given as much to church, I haven't volunteered like I used to, and I'm just all-around disappointed in myself. Yes, I do work at Legal Aid, and that counts for something, and I do give some to church, and I certainly don't think only about myself. But the point here is that all of the stuff I do do certainly wouldn't have been enough for me back in the day.
I guess this is just a big confession, and for that, I am sorry (Hehe).
The point here, I suppose, is that I'm trying to turn some of these things around. I'm trying to lose some weight and get healthy. I'm trying to do more at work. I'm trying to cut back on my spending and eat out less and give more to charity.
It's a lot to take on all at once, and I'm sure I'll trip up enough times (heck, tonight I went to Chipotle!), but hopefully I'm able to build up some more self-discipline. Someday, it might come in helpful.
UPDATE: Ah, Pastis, you say it so well.
Also, typing "Will Power" made me think of that episode of The Simpsons where Homer changes his name to "Max Power". It's the name, the name that you'd love to touch.
Well there's so much you have to learn and I would gladly teach you
If I could only reach you and get your lovin' in return