I'm not sure who wrote this originally, so I can't give credit, but I received this tongue-in-cheek e-mail today, and it's well-worth posting here.
Dear American Taxpayer:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had a crisis that has caused the need for a large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
Let me assure you that this transaction is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of friend so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to firstname.lastname@example.org so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Henry "Hank" Paulson
Minister of Treasury
Hilarious, right? This kind of humor is just one of the perks of being a consumer attorney. Good stuff.
Oh well I guess I mustn't grumble,
I suppose that's just the way the cookie crumbles.